And as for the Mona Lisa...
after a few thousand years...
people are going to get tired of her smile.
But a good fudge brownie is eternal.
Dear Brooklyn Boy...
II'm modest about some things, but not this.
II make the best fudge brownies on the planet.
Well, it just so happens...
II make the best homemade ice cream.
IIce cream and brownies.
Now that's a good combo. That's all II'm looking for.
My own good combo.
Someone II can bring out the best in...
and someone that brings out the best in me.
**[Let IIt Go playing]
How you doing?
Surprise, surprise.
Lenny, there's something I need to tell you.
We don't need words.
I know what you're going to say. And I feel the exact same way.
No, this is important for me to say.
I met someone-- "And his name is Lenny...
"and he's rocking my world." I know.
And I know you're scared. I'm scared, too.
But I also know if the world turned upside down...
baby, I know you'd always be around my mind.
The best of times.
[singing] These are "the best of times."
I met someone else.
What?
I mean, I didn't meet someone, but I might.
But the perfect man is standing right here, next to my cuddles.
Lenny, I'm sorry. I really am.
You are a great guy.
I'm sorry this wasn't...
"the best of times."
* These are the worst of times **
[keyboard keys clacking]
[beeps]
Hey.
I'm in the middle of writing my mom an e-mail and she just logged on.
IM her. Should l?
Yeah, It will make Ben seem more real, won't it?
Okay.
[beeping]
(Holly) Fancy running into you here.
(Jean) What time is it there?
[beeping]
Late.
[beeping]
II thought it would be morning.
IIt is. Late morning.
What are you doing?
Just thinking.
About what?
You'd be bored.
Try me.
IIf II stop replying, you'll know II fell asleep.
Well, II have kids. Have II mentioned that?
No. That's great.
Two daughters. Seven and sixteen.
They're lucky to have you as a mom.
[sighing]
You are the only person on earth who would say that.
And it's just because you haven't met me.
II've made so many mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Yeah, well, II make whoppers, over and over...
and my kids are the ones who suffer.
IIt's not fair.
This wasn't the plan, you know.
II had a big future in mind when II was younger.
II was going to be a famous baker.
Like Julia Child, but with desserts.
II was going to go to a fancy cooking school.
Write cookbooks.
Make people fall in love with baking again.
II had all the applications, too.
II was in the middle of filling them out when II learned II was pregnant.
II thought it was good news.
A baby fit into my happily-ever-after plan just fine.
But it didn't fit into the guy's.
Or maybe it was me that didn't fit.
Whichever. II was on my own.
So you had your kid instead of fulfilling your dream.
II guess II did.
[sighing]
IIf you had to do it all over, would you have gone to school instead?
Life definitely would have been easier if II'd done that.
Gotten my act together first.
Had kids later. But those kids...
wouldn't be Holly and Zoe.
And life without Holly and Zoe, II can't even imagine it.
[sniffling]
IIt's just no life at all.
[sniffling]
(Holly) Special message...
to all you bloggers out there being raised by single moms.
Give the old lady a break.
She's doing the best she can.
[sighing]
(woman) Yeah.
(Gloria) Okay, one cherry cake.
Yeah, that would be great.
$1 2.99. Thanks.
Thank you. Bye.
**[The Girl II Dream About playing]
(Gloria) Can I help you?
[microphone feedback]
Attention, shoppers.
Need a little pick-me-up?
Why don't you head on over to our coffee corner...
and pick yourself up a half-caf caramel macchiato?
But remember, coffee can be hot.
IIt can have an intensity like you've never felt before.
Searing deep into your flesh.
(woman) Is he joking?
Your tender, vulnerable...
so-easily-hurt flesh.
So be sure to ask for a protective sleeve when you pick up your coffee.
Maybe ask for another one to slip over your heart.
Thank you.
[woman laughing]
[man whistling]
And I bought these butterfly clips so that you can use it...
and clip the braids back. But don't pull.
Okay. It hurts.
Okay, I'm taking Zoe to her play date, then I'm going to Gloria's shower.
Don't burn the place down.
(Holly) Wow. Look at you.
Where they having it, at the Ritz?
Close to it.
Some whoop-de-do spot named the River Bistro.
No! Ow!
Isn't that way over everybody's budget?
Yeah, but Gloria's cousin's wife works with their dairy guy...
and he got her a deal on the party room.
I heard the food's really bad there.
Everyone who eats there gets really sick. Vomiting for days.
I'll take my chances. Let's go, sweetie.
Where is he? I don't know.
Maybe the restaurant. Maybe home.
Okay, you go to the restaurant. I'm going to go to his place.
If I see him, I'll stall him. Now, what's his address?
"To begin again in Egypt."
**[music playing]
Seven letters.
Oh, The Times thinks they're so clever.
[intercom buzzing]
(Ben) Hello? Hey, thank God you're here.
Who is this? It's Holly.
Who? Amy's friend, Holly.
Oh, Holly. Yeah, well, Amy's not here.
II know. II came to see you, actually.
IIt's something really important.
Okay. I'll buzz you in.
The door's open up here.
[buzzing]
(Holly) Hi. Hey, straight ahead.
[glass clanking]
Hey. Hi.
Wow!
This is the most amazing kitchen...
I've ever seen in my whole entire life.
Really? Yeah.
Thanks.
I know someone that would just kill for this kitchen.
I bet Amber likes it a lot, huh? Amber?
Well, she's got her finger on everything I do...
but not this kitchen.
How about you have a seat and I'll get you a soda?
Is that okay? Okay.
[bottle opening]
(Holly) You do The Times crossword in pen?
Yeah. Is that a bad thing?
How do you feel about the moon?
Excuse me?
Do you think that it's a little piece of magic...
that comes out every night, even when times get hard...
to remind you that every day holds potential for beauty?
What has Amy told you about me? Nothing.
She just said that you were really smart.
And I'm new to town.
It's a new school.
I don't really have a dad to turn to for advice, either.
So thought I'd ask you.
Well, all right. I guess I can try to help.
I'm not really a, you know....
What did you want to know?
It's nothing.
It's just, I'm going through my teenage years.
And that's confusing.
I'm confused about who I am and what my purpose is in life.
What college I should go to.
If I should even go to college.
I'm trying to resist peer pressure to do all sorts of things...
that I know that I shouldn't do, but some of them I kind of want to do.
If you know what I mean.
I'm considering getting my nose pierced and my belly button...
and nine other parts of my body.
But my mom said she would totally kill me if I did that...
so now I'm just thinking about getting a tattoo on my back.
But it wouldn't be really considered my back...
because it would be so low that you wouldn't be able to see it.
Unless I wore my jeans low enough. I'm really confused.
[telephone ringing]
Where?
Yeah? Ben.
Yeah? We got big problems down here.
Huge, massive. What?
The pilot light on that big thing that cooks the food? It's out again.
No, it can't be broken. I just bought it two months ago.
Ben, I am telling you, the only gas I'm smelling is coming from Pablo.
Okay.
Calm down. I'm coming right now. Goodbye.
Holly, I got a problem at the restaurant, so I have to go.
No, you can't! Why not?
I mean, can I come? Yeah, why not? Come on.
I've got to go to the bathroom really bad.
Yeah, well, go.
There's the bathroom there, but hurry up.
Right there through that door.
I love this.
[laughing]
You have got to be kidding me.
[all laughing] This isn't going to cover anything.
That's exactly the point.
[cell phone ringing]
Houston, we have a problem.
What kind? The very, very bad kind.
He's on his way to the restaurant now.
Oh, my God! What do we do?
Create a distraction. A really, really big one.
II'll see you there. Bye.
[men chattering]
Do we have to take a cab? I hate cabs.
Maybe we should walk. (Ben) What are you, crazy?
We're going to the River Bistro. I get carsick.
Boys!
Come on, get your free beer.
Free beer!
[people chattering]
(man #1) Bring on the beer.
(man #2) Yeah, bring on the Beer.
Look, it's time for your break. Bye-bye.
Hi! How are you? Good.
Some sort of Village People convention in town?
We saw the sign outside and we want the free beer.
Free beer? Why would I give you.... I'd give you free beer.
You look absolutely parched.
Thanks a lot, my friend.
I think I'm going to need another mimosa...
to open the rest of these gifts.
(Jean) I'll get the waiter.
(Ben) Lance!
Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?
I just, I miss you.
Free-- Lance!
What is this? What, nothing.
Is this your idea? No.
No, I would never do--
Well, actually I would do that, but I didn't do it.
Why didn't l? The sign says free beer.
We want our free beer. Yeah.
(all) J-E-T-S! Jets!
What's that?
(Holly) Look! What a neat gift!
[gasping]
[all laughing]
I feel like a queen.
[men chanting]
Fellows, we're not a sports bar, but one free beer on the house...
but that's it. (all) Free beer!
[men cheering]
You're a Jets fan, right?
Oh my God, hello! I live for West Side Story.
Pablo, what happened? I don't know.
Now, these are brand new stoves.
What about the pizza oven? (Pablo) Try it.
(Jean) Okay, I am getting the waiter.
Does anyone want anything besides mimosas?
That's working. It's got to be the gas line, right?
(Jean) Champagne. White wine.
What happened? It's not lighting?
What are you doing? (Amy) Sorry.
Mom! I'm going to get the waiter.
Why don't you sit here and enjoy your lunch?
Pablo, keep working on it. I got to call.
Waiter! Excuse me.
(Ben) I'm calling from the River Bistro.
We have a problem here. I need someone right away.
This isn't working. I know, what do we do?
Think.
Go stall.
Put this on here.
It's so much more fun if you accessorize with color. Lance.
(Holly) Please, please forgive me.
[fire alarm blaring]
[all grunting]
[woman screaming]
I don't know. I got to make sure that....
(Ben) Front door, everyone.
Floor's wet. Be careful, don't run.
Don't panic. Front door. Don't panic.
**[humming]
(Ben) Everybody out the front door.
(Jean) Where's Holly? Holly?
We may be in big trouble, but that rocked!
I swear the ClA should hire us.
Nobody saw anybody.
I mean, are we great, or what?
Your uncle does crossword puzzles in pen.
What?
And his kitchen is, it's perfect.
So?
You know even though he didn't say it out loud...
I know that he knows that the moon isn't just a rock.
What are you talking about?
There is such a thing as the perfect man.
And I know exactly who it is for my mom.
Who? Your Uncle Ben.
What?
And now because of my stupid scheme, they can never meet.
[sighing]
(Amy) I'm so beyond lost.
You were right.
I should have never bought that orchid.
The whole thing was just a huge mistake.
Hey.
I need to ask you a huge favor.
Hi to you, too.
I need you to break up with my mom for me.
When did I start dating her?
Not as you. As the perfect man, Ben.
[laughing]
No way.
Come on. Please.
Just call her at 7:00, put on a deep voice and tell her it's over.
What's my reason?
Men never have reasons. They just split.
Why can't you just break up over e-mail?
Because that's too cold.
Besides, I want her to hear his voice.
Yeah, but it wouldn't be his voice.
It would be mine, what with him not existing and all.
Come on, you know what I mean. Please, Adam.
If I tell her that this was all fake, she'll be crushed.
And she'll never forgive me.
But if he just dumps her, that she's used to.
[sighing]
[ticking]
[ringing]
Hello?
(Adam) There's no way II'm doing this. May I ask who's calling?
Holly, can we just talk about it? Sure.
Mom, it's for you. No, no, it's not funny.
Hello. Hi!
This is Ben calling.
Ben? As in "Ben" Ben?
I don't know.
How many Bens do you know? None.
I mean, one. I know you.
(Jean) Wow.
How is China?
China.
It's very Chinese.
[crashing]
Lots of Chinese people.
(Adam) Chinese food.
[laughing]
You're funny.
And you're calling me...
from halfway around the world.
Yes, because there's something that I wanted to tell....
[quavering] It's really good to finally hear your voice.
Wait. Are you crying?
No.
God, yes.
Yes, I am, but only because I'm happy.
[sniffling]
You make me happy.
(Jean) Know what II mean?
I guess.
Yeah, I do.
(Jean) God, my whole life....
I mean, everything's been so messed up...
and I just started getting to know you, and I don't know, I just....
I started feeling just....
[sniffling]
Clearer. Yes!
Yes. You know what II mean. Yeah, I do.
It's like all of the bad stuff that you went through...
that you hated along the way...
the people who disappointed you...
the things that didn't go the way you wanted.
Suddenly you feel grateful to them because they're the things...
that got you to here. To this.
Yes. Exactly.
(Adam) II guess that's just what's it like when you, you know....
No.
What?
Really like someone.
So, you like me?
Yeah. Yeah.
I do. I mean I might even....
You might even what?
Give me a ride, horsey! No. Not now, Zoe.
I might even...
(Zoe) Holly!
Iove you.
Hello?
[sighing]
[bell ringing]
Hey!
What were you thinking?
That isn't even close to what I asked you to do.
I got distracted.
By what? A lobotomy?
Because short of that, short of you telling me that somebody came...
and actually removed your brain, I can't even begin to--
By you.
I was distracted by you.
Hey, Mom? Yeah?
Do you remember when we first got here...
and you were feeling so lousy?
(Jean) What about it?
Well, the thing is...
I just hated seeing you like that. And--
(Lenny) * Lady, when you're with me I'm smiling *
* Give me your love *
* Your hands build me up when I'm sinking *
* Touch me and my troubles all fade *
(neighbor) Will you shut up?
(Holly) No way.
* Lady, from the moment I saw you *
I'm sorry.
* Standing all alone *
(man) Rock out, buddy!
* You gave all the love that I needed *
* So shy, like a child who had grown *
* You're my lady *
* Of the morning *
[panting]
* Love shines in your-- *
[Lenny grunts]
* Sparkling clear and lovely *
* You're my *
What are you....
* Lady **
(people) Encore! Sweet! Very good.
[ring clinking]
(man) Hey, take it easy.
Marry me?
(woman) Marry him!
[car diving away]
[sirens blaring]
Oh, God, please tell me that you didn't say yes.
Please tell me that you said no. I said I'd think about it.
What? What is there to think about?
Is there even a jewel in there?
Lenny is not your soul mate. Ben is.
Ben is in China. Maybe.
I mean, who really knows?
The only thing I know for sure about Ben is he is a beautiful idea.
But you can't grow old with a beautiful idea.
Why are you so desperate?
Oh, Holly, it is so easy for you to judge.
You haven't had to go through life alone with kids.
Nobody to turn to for help.
I'm not complaining. I made my bed.
But I have been slugging it out alone for a heck of a long time.
You two girls are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
In the blink of an eye, you'll be grown and gone.
And Lenny's a sweet guy. Maybe he'll be different than the others.
I don't want to wind up alone.
Do not unlock that door till I get back.
[phone ringing]
Hello.
[imitating man's voice] Hi, I'm calling for Miss Jean Hamilton.
Yes, this is Jean.
(Holly) This is Ben's secretary. Ben's coming back into New York...
and he would like to see you.
Really? How's tomorrow afternoon...
under the Brooklyn Bridge sound?
Excellent. 4:00. He'll see you then.
[printer printing]
Where's Ben? I need to talk to him. It's an emergency.
Oh, Too late, little lady. He's already gone.
Where? The almighty wedding.
Wedding? What wedding?
Well, Amber and-- Amber?
I know. He didn't really want to do it...
but she's hard to say no to.
Where is it?
Liberty Grand Hotel. Thanks.
So not a party without me.
Whatever.
**[organ playing]
[dogs barking]
Sorry, guys.
We are gathered here in the sight of God...
and in the face of this company...
to join together this man and this woman....
If anyone present...
knows a reason why these two should not be lawfully wedded...
speak now or forever hold your peace.
He can't marry her!
[all exclaiming]
(man) What are you doing? You can't come in here.
He's got to marry my mom.
You might not even know it yet, but you will once you read these.
Holly.
It's pages and pages of proof that you guys are soul mates...
and right now she's waiting to meet you under the Brooklyn Bridge.
And when you do, you'll know that you guys are perfect for each other.
You guys both do the crosswords in pen...
and know what a kitchen should feel like and what the moon really is.
And without even meeting her, you picked out her favorite song.
And it's made her happier than she's ever been. And....
[grunting]
[people gasping]
You know what, you guys?
I'm looking for the Silverman wedding.
Sorry. Carry on. My bad.
(Amber) David, I'm so sorry.
(David's father) Son, are you all right?
(Ben) Holly!
I'm sorry. I made a mistake, okay?
Well, that's just the understatement of the year.
What are you thinking?
I thought you were the one marrying Amber.
Me? Lance said--
No! Amber's one of my dearest friends.
I'm catering her wedding.
What's left of it.
What are you doing? Read these.
No, that's not an answer. Yes, it is.
If you'd just read these e-mails, you'll see.
There's someone that you need to meet.
[seagulls cawing]
Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?
I didn't want you to think you'd been stood up.
He's not coming. What?
How do you know? How did you even know I was here?
I know, because....
Because?
Because I made him up.
What?
The flowers and the letters and the e-mails and everything.
The phone call? A friend of mine did that.
But it wasn't all made up. There was a man. There is.
Most of what I wrote came from him.
So there's a man out there laughing at me, too?
No! He doesn't know. He thought--
How could you be so cruel?
I wasn't trying to be cruel.
I was trying to make you happy.
Well, you have a lot to learn about happiness.
You haven't exactly showed me a road map, Mom.
Oh, so this is my fault. I brought this humiliation on myself.
What? Because we moved around a little bit?
A little? Whatever. A lot.
You never seemed to mind.
Yes, I did. You just never heard any of it if it wasn't about you.
That is not true. I hear everything you say to me.
You hear, but you don't listen.
You never listen to anything I want.
All right, fine. What do you want?
I want a mom that sees in herself what Zoe and l see every day.
That's talented and pretty and funny...
and cooks great and dances great...
and doesn't need a man to be those things.
Okay, so maybe the perfect man wasn't real.
But the perfect you is.
S-l-L-E-N-C-E.
Hi.
I'm sorry that I didn't call you back.
I've been really busy. I drew you something.
(Holly) "Princess Holly."
(Adam) Well, a side of her anyway.
I realized she doesn't need an army to protect her.
You don't let anybody close enough to hurt you in the first place.
Wait. Holly!
I want to move. What?
I hate this place.
I'm over it, and I want to move now.
We've moved more times for you than I can even count.
And just this once, I want to move for me.
**[Collide playing]
Hi. Hi, I'm Adam. Holly's friend.
Is she home?
No, she's out getting packing boxes.
Why?
We're moving. Arizona. Red Rocks.
You want her to call?
No.
Thank you.
Could you give this to her?
Sure.
And tell her she only saw one side of the drawing.
[computer beeping]
I was inspired.
I miss you.
Why did you bug out on me?
Newsflash.
Everyone's scared.
That's no reason to run away.
(Jean) It's what my mom does.
And you want to end up like your mom?
Some role model.
[sobbing]
[sniffling]
I heard once that...
Iove is friendship on fire.
That's how I feel about you.
Do you really have to go?
[sniffling]
Holly, guess what? I get to be in a spelling bee.
[laughing]
(Zoe) C-O-O-L.
What are you doing? Unpacking.
Yeah, but why?
I thought that we all agreed that it was time for a new adventure.
This is our new adventure. Staying is our new adventure.
What?
Why can't you ever do anything that I want?
I want to be alone.
Nobody wants to be alone. I do.
Okay, I'm through with these people and I want new ones.
Unfortunately, honey pie, new people are only new for a day.
After that, they're just people.
Who will excite you, disappoint you...
scare you a little bit.
And, boy, I know how tempting it is to run away when that happens.
It's good for avoiding things. But the problem is you end up...
avoiding yourself.
Avoiding people you love.
You end up avoiding life.
So, I've decided to start setting an example for you girls.
I'm going to try showing you what sticking it out looks like.
Really get to know people.
And let people get to know us.
I don't promise to be any good at it, but I will try.
Because I want you and Zoe to be better at this than I am.
I want you to learn how to let people in.
[sighing]
He's a sweet boy. I think it would be worth it.
Turn it over. Everything always has two sides.
[door closing]
[chuckles]
You want a bigger ring?
Combustible.
C-O-M-B...
U-S-T...
I-B-L-E.
Combustible.
That is correct.
[people cheering]
[giggles]
J!
E!
T!
S!
(all) Jets! Jets! Jets!
[whooping]
Looks like we're going to the World Series.
[all cheering]
(man) Ladies and gentlemen, five minutes.
Five minutes. We'll be commencing in five minutes.
First place goes to Number 73, Jean Hamilton.
[all cheering]
You did it, Mommy!
(Ben) Where? The second one?
(Holly) Yeah, that's Mom.
[bell dinging]
Hi, may I help you?
Yeah, I heard that you can find...
the best fudge brownies in the world here.
We try.
I'll take this.
[both laugh]
Ben. Hi.
On the house.
No, I have to pay you somehow.
How about dinner?
I don't even know you.
Well, I don't know about that.
Thank you. That is very sweet.
But I don't think so.
Are you dating someone? Actually, no.
For the first time in my life, I'm not.
And, and I think I should stay this way...
until I get my feet back on the ground.
I see. Yeah.
It's nothing personal. No, of course not.
You know, I should probably take a dating moratorium, too.
I recommend it.
Yeah, clean-out-the-closet sort of thing.
It's a good idea.
You know, get my head together and....
Exactly.
So, pick you up Saturday at 8:00?
Perfect.
**[Better Than This playing]
(Holly) IIt looks like Mom was right. Staying turned out to be...
the greatest adventure of all.
And let me tell you, it has made me do some crazy things.
Like plan ahead and paint my room and hang pictures on the wall.
II mean, II used a nail and everything.
Hi, come on in.
Sorry I'm late.
There was this Krispy Kreme truck that overturned on Eighth Avenue.
[laughing]
[gasping]
Thank you.
Here, let me deal with that.
It goes....
Relax. What is this? Like, your first dance or something?
(Holly) Can you believe it?
The Teenage Gypsy has finally settled down.
Now II don't just have a homepage. II have a home.
**[II will Learn to Love Again playing]
**[Real Life Fairytale playing]